I've definitely become a believer that my experience in a yoga class is such a laboratory for me to gain insight into how I experience and approach (or want to approach) life more generally. I wish I could say that I was so inwardly focused that these learnings were all gleaned from my own inner observations, but just as often as not, I find myself learning as I observe how other people approach a situation. A few specific things I've come face to face with in recent classes:
A few weeks back, I arrived early at class, and the woman on the mat next to me was trying to do a headstand without much success. I had learned an easy method a few years back in a workshop with Dena Kingsburg (sp?) so, after letting go of my usual hesitation to step into someone else's space in a class, I finally spoke up and offered my advice. On her next try, she was up in a headstand. She was very effusive in her thanks, and asked if I was a teacher. As I aspire to teach, this of course made me feel great. After the class began, I was aware that she was hugely experienced in regard to what she could do in certain poses, and yet, headstand (not what I think of as a hugely challenging pose) had not been available to her. It really made me reflect on a few things: There are things that we all can offer up to the world, teach to others and we can too easily get hung up or intimidated by notions of hierarchy - this person is better than me, etc. In reality, the matrix is much more complex than a binary sense of better or worse.
At another class, I was practicing next to a fairly inexperienced woman (she announced this to me for some reason as she put her mat down next to mine before class began). Throughout the class, it was hard for me not to notice how hard she was trying to get into very advanced versions of the pose as the instructor offered a range of options. It was hard to watch and made me sort of sad because she was just never going to get into the pose because like many destinations, you really do have to pass through a series of steps along the way. Also, because she was focusing so hard on wanting to get into a certain position that was beyond her present abilities, she was missing the beauty of the process, the joy of the journey. (being quote girl, this of course brought back a quote from my rowing days, "It is the process of becoming a winner that adds substance.") It's definitely an interesting and challenging balance to find the right space between effort (lazily staying in an easily achievable pose is not the goal) and ease - the constant tension between pushing your limits, but knowing your boundaries.
This leads to my next learning, which is that while I believe my last point in general, sometimes it just needs to be thrown out the window. At another recent class, the instructor opened with some thoughts that I just really connected with. The general theme was, just forget about what you think you can't do, just experience this class, just forget what you've done in the past, what's been easy, what's been hard and just meet yourself where you are today. Somehow I just really connected with that message, and in spite of the fact that my wrist has been hurting me so much in arm balances for months, I managed to just forget that, and I found myself in a range of arm balancing poses that I had been avoiding or cautiously engaging in for ages. It was sort of the "throw caution to the wind and run out over the cliff and you just might find that something or someone catches you" experience.
At my Sunday class last week, there was a substitute instructor, which often means a different type of series, and a different set of poses. While overall his style didn't engage me (just too slow, too much navel pondering), I did have a few good learning experiences.
First, the obvious one was to not get so caught up in the fact that I didn't like his class. Clearly I wasn't going to walk out, so trying to find a place of non-judgment, and a way to appreciate the class for what it was offering and find a way to get the most out of it, rather than bemoaning it.
Second, we did a pose I hadn't done in about a year, that had always been hard for me. Because it had been so long since I'd done the pose, I was no longer thinking about how hard it had been the last time I did it. This time I found myself easily going into the pose. This was definitely a case where sometimes walking away from a challenge, setting it aside for a while is the best thing to do.
I normally tend to be a "keep working at it til you get it right" person, whether in a relationship or a challenging situation, but this was such a reminder (not that life hasn't provided me with plenty of other examples!) that sometimes the harder, and better, thing to do is to let the situation go.
When it's right, you can re-engage again, as a slightly different person, with different tools, and a slightly different approach.
